So without further ado, I would like to share my list of "10 things I shouldn't know" from Monday Listicles.
10 Things I Shouldn't Know
About My Family
- The gross facts about hickeys. When I was little, my Aunt used to babysit me along with several cousins and even a few of their cousins. At the age of 5, I learned what a hickey was thanks to said cousin of cousin. It's not what you're thinking. She gave them to herself. LOL So now that I knew what hickeys were, imagine my shock and horror at seeing one on my mom's neck while sitting at the breakfast table one morning at the age of 12. It plagues me to this day that I had to ask about it. Her answer? "You're dad got a little frisky with me last night." (Oh my gosh. Gross. Insert fingers in ears right now & close eyes tightly.)
- Brother's sock drawer. My brother is in his mid-thirties, and has never really grown up and become responsible. A few years ago, I was looking to make a little extra money, so I started cleaning brother's house. It turns out that instead of washing and mating his socks (like the rest of us do), he goes out and buys new socks. I think there must have been 2 laundry baskets of socks to sort through and organize, which means that brother really has 2 sock drawers now. LOL
- Vanilla Envelopes. My job, since I was 12 years old, has been bookkeeping and office management for my father's businesses. Whenever dad needs a big manila envelope, he always mispronounces it. It's funny when he asks for "Vanilla Envelopes" with the new help that have come and gone through the years. They always look at him like he sprouted horns.
- Mean, Ornery and Hateful. I began dating my husband back when I was 18 and fresh out of high school. We are both big on family, so we spent a lot of dinner times dining out with his family. Whenever the waitress would come to the table to ask how we're doing today, everyone would pause as Father-In-Law would say these words "Mean, ornery and hateful." If they didn't ask, he'd say something to prompt them into asking. Now, 18 years later, and I still hear those words. Poor waitresses....
- Ever Mail a Fish? We used to live in what can best be described as a resort town. One night, a few years after we began dating, my (now) husband went out ice fishing with a high school friend of his. A few (maybe more) drinks later, they got this hair-brained idea to deposit their fish into numerous mailboxes around the lake. The trouble is, these vacation homeowners only came up in the Spring. It's tough to say if the postal carrier or the homeowner was the first to discover this smelly mess. I wonder if knowing this makes me an accessory to a crime(?).
- The Maximum Amount of Weight an Elevator Can Hold. This one is thanks to my niece Marie. We took our honeymoon trip as part of a family cruise to the Eastern Caribbean. My brother-in-law got married at Miami port, and then it was off to our first stop of the vacation, San Juan. For some reason, people seem to think an elevator will take a long time to make a return trip to your floor on a cruise ship, so they feel it necessary to pack themselves in like sardines in a tin can. One such event caused my niece, then 11 years old, to notice a digital scale reading of weight for the elevator. We'll just say that 4 of the patrons that stood next to us were of a certain size. Marie took it upon herself to make sure the entire contents of the elevator knew that we were thankfully under the weight limit, but just barely. Many lip twitches and coughing ensued.
- Butter is Tastier than Candy. My children have both made various "butter sculptures" as infants and toddlers, as soon as they were old enough to get into the refrigerator. They come from a long line of butter lovers. Grandpa tells a story of when he was about 4 years of age. He was caught hiding behind the sofa eating mashed potatoes and butter meant for that night's dinner. My Mother-In-Law tells a story about my husband at age 3. He had gone shopping in town with his Grandma and Grandpa, and when they got home from town, he was asleep in the car. Not wanting to wake him, they rolled the windows down and went inside for coffee. Jeremiah awoke a few minutes later, and was deeply annoyed to find himself alone. To express his displeasure of the situation, he painted Grandma's Naugahyde leather seats with butter.
- Snakes are Slimy and Slippery. My cousin Jason has yet to live this one down. When I was a little girl, I loved to wear dresses everywhere I went. This same cousin's mother babysat us for a couple of summers. One sunny day, I was laying in a hammock enjoying the light breeze, when suddenly this slippery snake was shoved down the front of my dress by my evil cousin. Yes, it was alive, and yes, it didn't want to be put on a screaming girl, either. The only pleasure I get from this particular episode is the fact that my Aunt nearly killed my cousin (okay, slight exaggeration, but you get the idea). For the rest of the day, I got to watch whatever TV shows I wanted to, and have plenty of yummy treats to calm myself down with, all while the boys were locked out of the house. He admits nowadays that he was a rather naughty child.
- The Strip and Streak. My children have no qualms about their bodies. I will catch my 7yo son standing in front of the TV naked and in the zone. It usually takes 3 attempts to make him aware of the situation so he can remedy it. If it's Summertime, and Izzy's ceiling fan fails to meet her cooling off needs, she will strip down and sleep in her underwear. We do teach them proper manners and etiquette about this. Hoping they outgrow this by the time they reach adolescence.
- Sitting on the Toilet in Your Birthday Suit. My Jackson is so not going to like me for saying this, but blackmail will get me everywhere. LOL Jack is always afraid he will get his clothing soiled if he wears it while doing his business, so he strips every last inch of it off his body first. I wonder when he may outgrow this...it hasn't happened yet.
I'm sure there are many more items I could list, but these were the first ones that popped into my head. Hope you all have a lovely week.